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If u luv someone...

 THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
   If you love someone,
   Set her free...
   If she comes back, she's yours,
   If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS ARE:

Pessimist:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free...
   If she ever comes back, she's yours,
   If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

Optimist:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free ...
   Don't worry, she will come back.

Suspicious:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free ...
   If she ever comes back, ask her why.

Impatient:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free ...
   If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

Patient:
   If you love someone, Set her free ...
   If she doesn't come back,
   continue to wait until she comes back ...

Playful
   If you love someone,
   Set her free ...
   If she comes back, and if you love her still,
   set her free again, repeat ....

C++ Programmer:
   if(you-love(m_she))
   m_she.free()
   if(m_she == NULL)
   m_she = new CShe;

Animal-Rights Activist:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free,
   In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

Lawyers:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free,
   Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second
   Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom

Biologist :
   If you love someone,
   Set her free,
   She'll evolve.

Statisticians :
   If you love someone,
   Set her free,
   If she loves you, the probability of her coming
   back is high
   If she doesn't, your relation was improbable
   anyway.

Schwarzenegger's fans:
   If you love someone,
   Set her free,
   SHE'LL BE BACK!

Over possessive person :
   If you love someone
   don't set her free.

MBA :
   If you love someone set her free instantaneously
   and look for others simultaneously

Psychologist :
   If you love someone
   set her free
   If she comes back her super ego is dominant
   If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
   If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

Somnabulist :
   If you love someone
   set her free
   If she comes back it's a nightmare
   If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

ERP functional expert :
   If you love someone
   set her free
   If she comes back, map her into your system
   If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

Finance expert :
   If you love someone
   set her free
   If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
   If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Marketing Specialist:
   If you love someone
   Set her free
   If she comes back she has brand loyalty
   If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market        
.

Training classes for Men

Summer Classes for Men at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August
28th 2010
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

 

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

 

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


Class 6

Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

 

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

 

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

 

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined


Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7 :00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14

The Stove/Oven-- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.